Letter to the Editor!!!

Please read this with the same tongue in cheek as when Steve Martin said, "The new phone books are here!"

I did in fact write this letter, abiding by the Herald-Leader requirements that it be 250 words or less.   Bastages did not publish it though.   :-/

"I read State Senator Jensen's indignation at handing off his so-called “Meth” legislation, due to a perceived conflict of interest. While I am unaware of any conflict, Senator Jensen must understand that – from the outside – it looks like the only reason anyone would support such an ill-conceived bill would be that they were receiving some benefit. He should be flattered to be thought compromised and scheming, rather than simply to be thought a fool.

"The so-called “Meth” legislation means that anyone suffering a cold must visit a doctor to get the same relief that, under the current scheme, they already have to show ID to get. Instead of treating my own cold, I have to wait for morning, contact my doctor, miss work, pay a co-pay, and then sit waiting for my prescription. Anyone without health insurance almost certainly cannot afford to treat their cold.

"And it imposes the phenomenal obstacle on methamphetamine makers of asking the same doctors who currently write bogus oxycontin prescriptions to write a scrip for cold meds.

"Reading this I felt the fresh, raw frustration of a recent survivor of a miserable cold, finding my only solace in a box of Mucinex-D. This legislation will not stop methamphetamine, but will make miserable the lives of the law-abiding.

"Greg Stumbo, defending Jensen, was quoted, “Obviously, methamphetamine is a scourge to our communities and needs to be addressed.” I agree, but I would add, “Let's not do something stupid.”"

Bart Is Sick

So, Bart has been feeling poorly and we have been weighing our options, not wanting to unnecessarily take him to the veterinarian, but by the same token, not wanting him to suffer. A guinea pig is not really an unusual animal, but it’s one that most of us don’t have any working knowledge of, so it’s the kind of thing you have to take to the internet to get feedback.

Reviewing the Emergency and Medical Forum on Guinea Lynx (which, based on the number of users is THE site), I know that all of these folks are sincere in their love of their animals, but still, here are some of my favorite discussions (based on the thread name):

• Bladder Sludge Advice for Sassy
• Brave Top Pig Snickers
• Nibbles’ Medical Thread (urgent as of now)
• Twitch and Colic
• Frequency of Hooting
• Robinson – Making Strange Noises
• WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY GUINEA PIG’S PENIS????
• Sore bottom. (Picture inside.)

Note:  Sad to say, this post was written last November and Bart has passed on to the great beyond since then.   He had the sludge, we think.  This was originally posted on Shirbyosity, but I see that now it is really kind of sick and I should keep it out of the boys' space.  (Yes, we are going to try to get that going.)

Damn Kids

It takes a long time for this page to load, but I think it's worth it.   This kid writes about how he saw the relationship between the arrangement of leaves on an oak tree and the Fibonnaci sequence, discovering a new solar panel array that collects more power than a simple flat panel array.

http://www.amnh.org/nationalcenter/youngnaturalistawards/2011/aidan.html

What did YOU do on your summer vacation?

Breaking the Barrier

I'll be coming back to the subject of the vacation, but I think this was worth sharing.

London! England!

bk and I just got back from a visit to London!  England!  (Which is a joke you will only understand if you have visited southern Kentucky.)  We did and saw so many things that it will take a long time to tell it all.  Here's the first chapter, and it has to do with what I saw while mentally preparing for the flight.   I won't go into detail, but flying is something that I used to enjoy and that I suddenly just got over.  

But that's that.   Let's go on to why we have this picture.

We tried to take a picture of all of our meals, and this is a picture of the first meal we had, and one of my favorite memories of the trip.   I don't relax often, but I was relaxed when I took this picture, and for the two hours before I took it and the two hours after.

I took this in the Detroit "Sky Lounge," on our first layover on the way out, and we had a really great view of the concourse that led to baggage claim and whatnot.  We drove to Cincy, then flew to Detroit and then we sat in the Sky Lounge for about three hours drinking wine (or bourbon, in bk's case), the occasional bloody mary, and eating a really surprisingly lovely cheese broccoli soup. 

I had never been inside this place before, but its floor-to-ceiling picture windows overlook the passenger causeway and frame a wonderful view for people watching.   We invented some fabulous histories for the passengers, the employees, and even the folks who worked in the retail shops around the place.  It was like watching a fishtank: A fishtank with a secret.

My favorite moment there was when a sea of black spots came rushing to the luggage area, like 200 bankers decided to alight there in Detroit.   They came like a cancerous wave (well, they looked like bankers) and then it flattened and they were gone.

But this picture, this shows the moment that the trip started.   The moment I relaxed.  

Although most people wouldn't have noticed it.

Twitter

Twitter has a thing where they have these hashtags and people post very ugly comments and they follow them with hashtags that make them funny.

Example from Nathan Fillion (one of the many stars from Firefly) (and I'm paraphrasing here from memory):   "The gas station near my house doesn't take $50 bills. #firstworldproblems"

So I've been dealing with a first world problem (forced starvation) and it brought up this circle of thoughts that -- to my two faithful readers -- may seem nonsensical.

Who fasts in the first world?   I know that I do, for my reasons, and Dolly Parton does, for hers, but I was talking to someone I know and she told me that a woman we both know fasts regularly.

There is a lovely woman named Abhilasha (not her real name, but it means desire, and I see no need to use her real name), and someone else that I know told me that Abhilasha fasts every Thursday.   I thought to myself, how odd is that?   Is it religious?  Does she do it to maintain her weight?  Is it a custom?

So one day, I pinned her at the coffee bar and I said, so hey, A1212 tells me that you fast every Thursday.   How long have you been doing that?

Abhilasha looked at me, blinked her eyes, and thought.   She said, I think it is been since about seven years.  I said, wow, that's quite a commitment.  

*** Hey, look, I wasn't intending to pry.   This fascinated me.   Have you ever fasted?   It's hard.  I can't imagine doing it once a week. ***

She said, yes, well, it was hard at first, but it gets better.    It's just the one day per week.   Then I asked her why she does it.   She calmly told me, "I have two boys [actually, the boys are identical twins but I knew that and she knew I knew].   When one of the boys was very small he became sick and he wasn't getting better and I didn't know what to do.   So I prayed and I said that I would do this."

Now, she didn't explain the rest of the story that is obviously there, but I was and continue to be awed by the sheer reasonableness of it all.   I can't even imagine the conversation that she had with God on that day, but it makes me wonder, what would she think if it hadn't worked and she would feel like she underplayed her cards?   Does she ever think that she overpaid?  

It doesn't matter.   I think after seven years, it just is.

*  *  *

I had to fast yesterday and drink suprep so that we could catch any colon cancer early.   It was unpleasant and expensive and there was nothing but good news for me.  #firstworldproblems
  

I'm doing things today. I'm a doer. I do.

I got my taxes done, and copied, and packaged, and mailed.

And I went to the bank. 

You have no idea the mental exertion that has gone into avoiding those two particular tasks.

I am free. 

And this is why we can't have nice things.

We just watched Bambi tonight.

Stupid Man ruins everything.

wha...huh?

Where do I sign in?  What am I most angry about?   Jeez, where do I start?

More butter!!!?

Christmas!

Ten Things Christmas Would Be Better Off Without

There's really nothing to add.  I love holiday anger.

Dexter

bk got a new phone and he takes it everywhere.   The other night he went off to (in his words), "Release the Kraken!" and decided to use his phone to capture Dexter's bathroom behavior of breaking into the room and lavishly adoring whoever is sitting on the toilet.   I mean, he was going to be in there anyway. 

So the first two minutes of the video are aimed down towards the door, then bk apparently got bored of waiting for Dexter so he put the phone on the floor.   Then there's a lot of beeping and pinging electronic tones and about 3 and a half minutes into the video you see a handheld game come into the frame and bk whispers, "Look!  Yahtzee!"

Can your boyfriend do that?

p.s.  Dexter thinks it's a fountain.

Is It Me?

Am I the only one who looks at this and thinks, Really?  Another one?  Good christ that ship has sailed.

Cold

It was so cold today that when I ran out for an errand I came home and my face was so red and splotchy and scratched it look like I fell off of my bicycle.

Driving

I've never done much of it nor do I care to.   But I have loved this song since I heard it and -- like many songs -- the lyrics freak me out when I stop to think and I hope ... gee, she's okay, right?

Anyway, the sound is amazing.  And then you realize how much you missed.   As you would, of course. 

Next, I Gained 1000 Pounds!

Really.   A thousand pounds.

I gain it, I lose it, I gain back more.   (I'm not talking about a cumulative gain, I'm talking a total.)

I'm so fat that when I put on my big pajamas on Saturday night I took them right back off because they were too tight.  FAT.

I know that's not really enlightening in terms of what's been going on in my life but, to make a really bad pun, it's a heavy burden to carry around and it's all I can think of some days.  It makes bk insane.

I have an incredible battle ahead of me, but I'm going to make the attempt.   Dying of a heart attack at 52 is not in my future.

Let's Start With My Car!

I bought a car in June! 

OK, well, it's not a great car, but it's fine.  It's not luxurious or fast, but it wasn't expensive and it gets pretty good gas mileage. And it's cute. I get in it and just kind of floor it like it's some kind of golf cart and there's no kind of accelerating -- she's a goer.  

She's also small.   Probably another reason to lose weight (let's not go there right now) is just so that when people see me get out they don't think, huh, didn't see that coming.

Long Time Away

Wow, I've been away a long time.   I don't really have an excuse except I've been busy being lazy.

I've gained a thousand pounds.

I sold a house.   I bought a house. 

I bought a new car.


I've started my Christmas shopping.

I'm still working there.

I need to make some changes, but I think I'm just about ready.   More soon.

I'm Totally Bonding with Chris, the Cleaning Guy

And you know what he just told me?  

"Putting in hours like that?   No offense, but that's no way to live."

Exquisitely Funny Shorts -- Make Me Stop!

I busted a gut watching this one.    I may even change my blog template so you can watch all six minutes of it and see the whole thing on the screen.

(I promise this is the last one, assuming of course that I can't find links to the other nominees.  Actually, I found a link to The Lady and the Reaper, which is very good and very funny, just not as funny as this one.)

Shorts

My current obsession with short films started with this link to La Maison en Petit Cubes , last year's Oscar winner for best animated short film.   La Maison has a really familiar feel to it (NPR pointed out the opening sequence's similarity to Up, while my first impression was Babe).   But it's original as well.   Very pretty music.  Save it for when you have 12 minutes to spare. 

Then I was trying to find the Oscar nominees this year so I could at least feel like I have some skin in the game.   No luck, however, I did come across this video contest.

These links are from a contest called The Story Beyond the Still.   The first one starts out like a Hallmark card, and then not so much.   Each director took a different chapter of the same story but the second chapter is much darker than the first.   It's as if someone tried to make a continuous narrative from the Mysteries of Harris Burdick.


Chapter 1: The Cabbie from Vincent Laforet on Vimeo.



Job Security from Runner Runner on Vimeo.